380 - Chris & Jason Live in Tuscany

All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Stateside with Kai and Carter, a new podcast from The Guardian. And they are using this podcast to slow down the news and wrestle with the questions that we all have about what's happening in the world. And they do it three times a week, Jason. Does that sound familiar to you? We don't really talk about, you know, a lot of international global news items and climates and cultures and sports and things like that. We do talk about fashion and wellness, but for everything else, Kai and Carter are a great place. All right, so who couldn't use more news? Listen wherever you get your podcast. or watch on YouTube. Buongiorno. Buongiorno. Ciao TJ. Chris Black, DJ Them Jeans, live from a Tuscan home. deep in the hills of Italia. Vacation mode is engaged, but when TJ and I linked, we couldn't not record. You know what I mean? We couldn't not record, and luckily I have a mobile recording set up. Much like Drake in any four seasons all over the world, we can lay a verse down, no problem, just send us the beat. You know what I mean? And we're kind of good to go. So how are you feeling, man? I'm halfway through a two-week. Stint. A two-week bid. Yeah. In the hills of Montepachana. I'm at the tail end, mercifully. Just basically 24 more hours in this beautiful country. And look, man. You've got a nice grin on your face saying 24 hours. As excited as I am to leave, Jason, I'm as excited to return. I don't know if you feel like that sometimes with vacation. It's the excitement of leaving is only matched. By the excitement of returning. What's the difference? I wish I could tell you. I mean, I think that the... I don't know. Nothing, really. Well, actually, I do know. The excitement to return is higher. Yeah. I mean, I'm... I don't know. It's a topic that I've been trying to wrestle. I just realized that this mini-fridge coffee center in my room that's been kind of Michael's Arts and Crafts on the outside looks just like a trash can.

Oh, it does? Like a municipal trash receptacle. What if this is merely an Italian street can that they've repurposed? I mean, that would make sense. It would make sense. For this choppy cheek. But that's the thing that I've been wrestling with since both of us, our brand is being anti-holiday. But our life partners that we have chosen to partner with, there's some of those people that like, vacationing yeah i just don't so it's not i i can't not make it work in the words of tim gunn of course no no of course shout out to tim uh no i think that though it's more what i've realized specifically on this holiday is that i'm going to do basically the same thing i do in new york or la in whatever city i'm in and it's just going to cost me 5x what it would cost at home, and I'm fine with that, really. I went to Barry's Paris four days in a row and worked on my laptop, but in the time in between, I went to different coffee places and maybe a museum. Barry, Paris. Yeah, so it's not really that different, except it's just a little more annoying and more expensive, but I can deal with that for a limited amount of time. So it costs 5X as much. And the quality is negative 5X. I guess for me, that's only some things, not all the things. It depends. I mean, the food aspect of traveling is what people get such a chub for. Food all over this beautiful planet is mid. I'm learning that more and more. We ate at the same restaurant in Paris twice in four days because it's the best. It's what I want. It's nice sushi, and it's good. I don't want... It's delicious, and it's like a local. You're eating sushi in Paris, bro? Bro. It's good. It's like a thing. What's it called? Takara. It's delicious. I'm sure it's great. And I'm like, okay, this is good. I like this. They have the bad wa in the red bottle, which is extra spicy. They have all of the accoutrement that I need to feel comfortable. And I just don't need to eat bad French food, or in this case, bad Italian food. Yeah.

Like what do people – I guess what my question is like we went to – we go to the museums in Paris mid. Pompidou? That shit – the MoMA shits on the Pompidou. It's just not – Mid is spelled with a Y, not a 9. Of course. Nothing is good enough except it's prettier to look at on a daily basis, which I respect and agree with. But if you don't – that's something that I feel like you really – the real benefit of that is living somewhere. visiting somewhere that's more pretty for a couple of days like yeah this is cool it's prettier and then that that's i don't that doesn't stick with me necessarily no you know what i mean like i don't care about that really i'm not gonna you're not gonna go look on your photos a photo album on your phone in three years and scroll back to tuscany 2022 and be like remember this there this tree was yeah cool paris i went to i mean paris the thing about paris is you can get go to dreaming man get a real coffee You can get a quest on if you must. You can have sushi at Takara. You can go to a nice distance, a nice running store. I can go to all my little bookstores. You know how many days that takes, Jason? One. One? Maybe one and a half? One and a half. One and a half? But the saving grace of this trip, besides, obviously, the wonderful time I've had with my friends and family, is the... It was weird that you brought your whole family. I know, I know. It was the hotel in Paris, Chateau Voltaire, which was very nice. And I was like, okay, this felt good to me. This was worth the money. The experience was nice. It was beautifully decorated. Service was good. And now we're in a haunted chateau that is decorated in a way that I can't find the words for. I don't know if you can. It's like so many things in Italy, a lot of attention and care and detail has been put into something. But there's just one or two clicks that are off. That's right. And it kind of ruins the whole thing. You know what I mean? Yeah, this is an insane structure, like a beautiful 100-year-old brick structure where they've spent... Probably 500-year-olds. Yeah, that's a good point. They've spent a fortune on these amazing windows everywhere. And unfortunately, when you look inside of the window...

The dream is ruined. Yeah, it looks like maybe they let their five-year-old niece pick out the colors or something like that. But, I mean, the ceiling in my bedroom, it's hand-painted. Yeah, it's like Michelangelo. Yeah, there's amazing detail. But then everything, you know, my armoire here. That armoire looks like Wayfair, bro. We opened that up, a kid might pop out. I could lift that shit up with one hand. I could lift that shit. I could lift that shit with one hand, bro. So there's, there's a mix of high, low and not in a good way, but I don't know. I, we were talking about this yesterday where we don't, we don't take vacations to escape our hellish nine to five email job. We, we, I take, this is sort of like lent for me is the way I'm trying to spin it. A friend of the show, Decatur Dan, and Vic coined a phrase, which is tree talks, where you don't smoke weed for a period of time, typically only because the government of the country that you're in will punish you severely. We don't want you on your Brittany Griner. I was able to smoke a spliff last night from one of the proprietors of the CASA here. It was 5%. 95% tobacco. It was a Marlboro Gold with maybe some shake that was off the floor is what it felt like from what I could see. But I'm trying to think of it as a cleanse. A Tretox is, I thought it would make you a little more irritable, but luckily I think you're drinking so much that it kind of levels you out in a way that's nice. I don't want to replace one crippling addiction with another. You should. Let me tell you all about it. It's totally fine, bro. Well, the problem was that's what weed was for me. I replaced drinking with weed, zero calories, and it opens your third eye, drinking the other way around. So I don't know. So it's sort of like I'm in paradise. There are things that I love about this trip, mostly that my life partner is happy. That's right.

But she doesn't want it to be me doing it for her. She wants me to enjoy it as well. I've heard of a way of thinking like that before. Which makes sense, of course. I mean, it's hard for her to enjoy herself if she knows that I'm going to be dragging my heels and complaining and stuff. So I'm trying not to do that. And I'm trying to really find, like, what do I love about here? And what would I, you know, if it was up to me and there was no other influences. So, so far, it's been driving. So steak and driving. Okay, so I'm glad you found stuff because I was complaining a little too much. Actually, I kind of feel a little guilty about it. Just because I don't know. I mean, this is a problem. This is a thing that I do that's bad for everyone around me is that I work out to an extreme and then don't feel like doing much because I'm tired. Instead of going right down the middle, you go straight to the top and then straight to the bottom. Yeah, and I'm like, I need a couple hours to kind of reset. And that doesn't really fly when it's like noon and you have nothing to do. You know what I mean? But the driving discovery is interesting because I purposely was like, I want to be driven here. I don't want to run a car. It just seems like a pain in my ass. We've been from Como to Paris, back to Italy. It's just been a lot of... Bravo, bravo. It's been a lot of... company moves, as they say in the biz. I didn't want to deal with that, but you were able to rent this junior art director A3 that doesn't have a reverse cam, but it's brand new. It's a brand new Audi A3. It's the S. What does that mean? It's fast? The S series is kind of like the M series on a BMW. It's a little bit nicer. You can add the S package to the Honda Civic. of audi it's kind of yeah i mean it's it's like why don't you just buy the next model up instead of adding the s package it's it's putting chanel laces on some sketchers is okay so this is lipstick on a pig this episode of how long gone is brought to you by a new podcast from the guardian stateside with kai and carter this is covering a lot of our bases jason it's a it's trying to slow down

The news and wrestle with the questions we all have about what's happening in the world. And I know you particularly have quite a lot of questions. A lot of questions. But how often? Because we do this podcast three times a week and that's a sweet spot. How many times do they do? Three times a week. And I have a feeling just based on the platform and these talking points that they're maybe going to be covering different stuff than we do. That's just a guess. The Guardian is not some billionaire owned. They're not afraid to say what they want to say, brother. Yeah, Rupert ain't sniffing around in what journalists Kai Wright and Carter Sherman are up to over there at Stateside. But yeah, listen wherever you get your podcast. You can watch it on YouTube. It's three times a week. And who couldn't use more news? Especially when it's not from here, let's say. Give it a listen. Give it a listen. Oh, this is huge for me personally. This episode of How I'm Gone is brought to you by TaskRabbit. Oh, baby, let me tell you something. This is not a joke. I use TaskRabbit a lot because I can't do anything. You need some art hung? TaskRabbit. You need something put together? A cabinet? Got to reach that cheese grater on the top shelf? TaskRabbit. Anything you need, TaskRabbit can take care of it for you. How it works, TaskRabbit connects you with skilled taskers in your area. They can help you move. They can assemble furniture, repairs, yard work, mounting, and more. You can search for a tasker based on cost, skill set, availability, and past client reviews so you know exactly who's showing up and can have confidence that they know what they're doing because taskers have assembled over 3.4 million pieces of furniture, completed 700,000 home repairs. handled 1.5 million moves, and the numbers are just going up, Jason. Yeah, throw a little money at the problem. It's not so expensive, and that job that you really don't want to do is something that another person out in the world is very good at doing and would gladly do it in exchange for a little bit of money. So when life happens, your to-do list grows. Get ahead of it now and get $15 off your first task at TaskRabbit.com or grab the TaskRabbit app.

using promo code howlong. Taskers book up faster, especially for same-day tasks. So book trusted home help today. That is $15 off your first task using promo code howlong with the TaskRabbit app or at TaskRabbit.com. All right, this episode of How Long Gone is brought to you by Quince. Jason, the temps are warming up. It's getting hot out there. Summer always changes how I get dressed. I need pieces that feel lighter, more breathable. And they're just easy but, you know, still put together. I don't want to look like a slob. That's why I keep coming back to Quince. You know, they focus on high-quality essentials that feel and look amazing. Breathable linen and soft organic cottons. Well-made basics but without the luxury markups. That rare balance where everything feels elevated. but still effortless. Yeah, Chris, linen season is here. I wore a linen blazer to dinner a few nights ago in the warm California sun. But, you know, you got that Italy trip coming up this summer and quality European linen pants and shirts. Upgrade that look starting at just $34. You know, if you get a nice linen suit, a little t-shirt underneath it, some chill shoes, you're looking good, but you're staying cool. The inside of your special areas are nice and dry as you turn up with your besties. So elevate that summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash how long for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns, even on a nice holiday now available in Canada. That is Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash how long. That'll get you free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince punto com slash how long. Like when I was in London for a week before, I would never rent a car in London for a zillion reasons, of course. Well, I mean, I don't rent one, but. Some of my friends allow me to borrow theirs. They kind of fly in from a different country. From the UAE? From the UAE, and they have multiple kind of supercars, and they love when their New York friend, Chris, borrows one of their yellow monstrosities to valet at a...

at harrods so it's it's nice for me but i'm sorry i should have kind of extended that offer to you but i was kind of in my period i saw that i was walking around mayfair which is like the the nicest you know basically the nicest most wealthy neighborhood in london more or less right yeah i mean i'm sure there's wealthier i'm not an expert but if i were to in terms of like a a city kind of piazza walkable area that looks like the americana or the grove that's what you look for I flew all the way here, and finally I feel the warm hug of a Grove-like atmosphere, and I'm happy. I'm a Hollywood content creator, so I want it to look like old world, like this has been here for centuries, but also kind of look like the back lot on Universal. Of course. Where Central Perk might have been located or something. But seeing two Saudi guys in a Rolls-Royce truck murdered out where the inside is blue velvet, driving on the wrong side of the road and then parallel parking on the other wrong side of the road and watching them try to figure that i'm gonna like i'm a great driver and i'm like so your steering wheels on the opposite side and you're parallel parking on the opposite side as well and in a giant car i felt bad for these guys but that that's why i would never rent a car but in italy it's just open roads and in the same the steering wheels on the same side as glendale so And I haven't seen a police officer the entire time, so I'm driving 180 kilometers. Everyone is on holiday in Italy, even the authorities. Unless you're listening, of course, we're never breaking any laws over here. Yeah, I mean, it's like town justice. If something goes wrong, then a guy runs out of a cafe and fixes it, you know? Or like three, like whoever the oldest sons of a family. They have to take care of it. They take care of it. What happened? So your London experience seemed good. It was good. We really were going full throttle. But I love London because they speak such good English there and they don't speak good English here. I mean, they invented the stuff over there. So it was cool traveling to a very faraway land that was...

You know, tits up, ass backwards. Everything about it was the opposite of America, but also they speak English. It's, yeah, no, I mean, I'm glad that you finally got to visit Sainsbury's, Tesco, M&S. Sainsbury's local. I mean, that's the real reason to go there is to kind of check out all the local flavors. That's all I want to do. I don't want to look at the Tate Museum. Oh, boring. Who wants to do that? I want to go to a, I went, I had to buy some like shoe goo. Did you pop a tire on your Converse? No, my 2006 new old stock Air Pegasus Nikes. My Roadman Nikes. If you buy shoes as vintage and prized as I do, you basically get one wear out of them. And then the sole, like the old Nike sole. It detaches from the body. It either detaches from the body or it simply kind of erodes into a dust. So what position are we in with the Pegasus now? Were you able to repair it with your roadman shoe goo? So I had to look up a hardware store because the Sainsbury Local only has like a shoe polish. There's like super glue, but I need an epoxy with a little squish and give. I love that even on vacation, the working class nature of your approach can't be stopped. I would have simply taken these to a local cobbler and said, do what you can. I'll be back in three days. No, no, no. Not Jason. I get after it. When I go in, I went to a hardware store. It was the first time growing up in Southern California where every single person in the hardware store was white. Just the customers, the employees, and everyone is just like a tatted up kind of surly guy. And they were just blasting like Dizzy Rascal at 10 a.m. in a hardware store. Were they receptive to you or were they like, we're not from around these parts? It was a little, I was like, hey, I'm looking for some shoe goo, like an epoxy to repair some shoes. And he was just like, we'll sell that then. You know, like doesn't know anything. And I'm like, should I buy this one that has like a picture of a shoe on it? And he's like, it's all right. Most likely, yeah. Yeah, that'd be good. Can I pay for this now? And he's like, yeah.

When I go to a Home Depot in America, it's like hundreds of people who have a job to do. They're buying things, and there's specialty items and stuff going on. And then a hardware store in London, it feels like a movie set, like a Truman Show kind of thing. Everything is perfectly clean and lined up, and someone's like, I'd like to buy a bucket of pink today, please. We have this white. It's because it's all owned by the queen. But so did you, were you able to? So I went home. I skeeted off that Shugu all in there, epoxy. I squeezed it. I set it. I put an end table on top of it to really make sure it stuck. But I made the executive decision, not unlike my girl Anne H. I had to pull the plug on the Pegasi because it was, it was a. You're saying it was beyond repair. It was – I repaired it, but I knew that another day rocking up in those trainers was just – it was too risky. Did you get a photo at least to kind of memorialize them? I did a pre-photo. I didn't take a photo of it before or after I did it. No, I think that's okay. As long as you have a memorial photo to kind of have and share. You know, for your other fellow collectors on the message boards on soulcollector.au, I think that will be... Bruvs ain't got these. Yeah, I mean... But let me tell you what, because a pair of Nike trainers in size 17 in the Renoir rolly bag, that's a lot of real estate. So you're saying you could be... You're in a position now to maybe cop some additional gear. Because some space has opened up in the carry-on case. If I wanted to, it's unfortunate because packing for two weeks' worth of clothes where a pair of shoes takes up 50% of a suitcase, it's tough. So it's just basically like I'm wearing a white T-shirt and I'm just wearing the same clothes every day and it doesn't matter, whatever. So I can't really be dressing. You're better off than me who spent, I don't know.

a hundred euros on laundry done at a hotel because my black nike dry fit is is so sweaty that i can't really wash it in the sink you know i try to do that because that's what people do you know a hand wash of the workout clothes like i just it don't it don't the the shit ain't tight enough you know what i mean like i need that industrial dryer to get that fucking spandex you know what i mean on my quads i see what's going on That's perverse. I need the compression to be blood-curdling if possible. Okay, well, did you really spend $100 on that service? I didn't look at the bill because I knew. They charge like $15 a shirt. Okay. So if you did spend that much money to clean some shorts, you could have just bought more, maybe. I could have, but I don't. You don't like a white tee, bro. I mean, I don't think Bob Marche has my dry fit styles available. The Nike Pro? Yeah, I don't think that the Nike Town Champs-Élysées was closed for the holidays, so I wasn't able to kind of get in and get out. I get it. But I'm glad you had a good time. And it looked like, from what I saw, you were really just kind of getting drunk. Yeah, that's pretty much all I did. But that is their culture. That's all they do. Bro, I mean, I don't need to ever drink. I mean, I say that as I'm drinking a large beer right now, just to kind of pass the time, get through the day. And I'm starting to understand that culture a little bit. I'm very surprised and shocked how British people are not fatter than they are. Well, most of them look like shit, though. Let's not, you know. The good ones kind of make it to Vogue, BBC, and America. You know what I mean? But eventually, sooner or later, they'll dance with the Reaper like our Libertines bro. You have enough fry-ups and enough pints for breakfast. Can't stand me now. Yeah, I mean, I do think that they don't even walk that much. There's a decent amount of walking, but I mean, the tube is very efficient, so I don't get it. But we got there on a Monday.

and left on a friday so we never really got to fully experience there everyone was like oh when like friday saturday comes it's like the pub spill out into the street this neighborhood is turns into a party and then i'm hearing that being like oh that's pretty impressive and cool but i'll be walking around at tuesday at noon and there's a hundred people just guzzling pints on the street i'm like so that's Not that. No, I mean, Al's friends came to visit us in Paris, and Jed, her friend's boyfriend, who I love, he's a British guy, and he's just kind of like, we went to the coolest restaurant, this really cool restaurant, and it was all this natural wine. He's like, yeah, I'd like a beer. We don't have beer. And he's like, what? He looked at this woman. He was both mad, and his soul was crushed. And I'm like, damn, I'm going to go to this. You're joking. I'm going to go buy this guy a beer. This is like his culture. We can't do this. But he was saying to me, which is pretty funny, that he's like, I only get half pints, man. Why? I don't know. I think he's just like, safer way to be. They're cuter. If I want another one, I just get another one. No big deal. But if I start ordering full ones, then I'm going to get fucked up. It's a control issue. Yeah, it's a control issue, which is smart. But the way he was crushing, like, damn, this really is all they care about. Footie? Pints? And great music. And they also have a lot of pride in their country, which is something that doesn't really exist where I come from anymore. That's not true. I'm sitting right across from you, Chief. The fuck are you talking about? I'm dressed up like a bald eagle right now, and you're not even fucking going to recognize that? No, it's because it's not cool now. At one point, it was very cool to have a lot of American pride. Now, it's not cool. But you didn't get treated with any disrespect like Americans in Paris. In London, they're pretty receptive. Oh, no, no, no. They were very respectful. We were, of course, only going to high-end establishments. I was. But the problem with going to London as, I don't know, I miss traveling as a DJ where it's like, we're going to go to a place and then we're going to pay you money and you're going to play music and have fun and that's it.

Versus traveling now, it's like we have to have a spreadsheet of restaurants, and every day I get a DM from 100 different people of telling me where to go. Oh, man. Shut up. It's also like I've been to these places. People keep doing this. I'm like, I've been to these places 100 times. I know the places I want to go. I don't care what you think. I truly don't care. I'm trying to find the psychology behind it. Because I have to go to all the places. I mean, it becomes so overwhelming that I don't want to participate. Unfortunately, I will offer my suggestions sometimes. But I feel like I only do it with someone I know or someone that is like literally asking. Not just like, oh, I see that you are somewhere. You should go to my grandmother's favorite fucking bagel shop in Manchester. It's only three hours by train. It's like these absolutely inane suggestions. And you have no reason to trust my taste. No, it's like, bro, I don't fucking know you got ten followers. I'm going to go to St. John, loser. Everybody knows that. It's just like none of this is a secret. It's not like you have the keys. But it is sweet because people know that I'm a food lover. It happens with travel all the time. Even when I go to New York, it's kind of like that. It's like, oh, every time I go to New York, there's 11 new things that have little thingies there, and you've got to go. I get decision fatigue, and I just want to eat a sandwich from the bodega that's closest to my hotel, and that's it. This is what I was talking about last night with Andy at the table. We are at a point where things are just too big and too popular. It's like I was saying about TV, how there's a new show that everyone wants to tell you about every day. It's the same thing with restaurants, and it makes me just want to be like, I don't care about any of this. I don't give a shit about any of this. I'm going to go to Sue-In. I don't care what the lighting is like. I think it can be refreshing. This is why I got lifted, bro. St. John, you were like, that was that shit. It was good. Yeah, that was that shit.

That was wonderful. But the best thing I ate in London was probably a French fry, a.k.a. a chip, at St. John. Yeah. But those are the things where it's like, this is something. We live in New York and L.A. where the best of the best of the world travel to because that's where you can make a name for yourself and make money. So we're definitely spoiled being already at the top of the food chain for culture and arts and food and whatever. arguably but so i'm going to a place where that's been taken out but there's certain things that are done in certain places in certain ways that are only done there and that's the only thing i care about if i'm trying to yeah i mean i think st john's example of something that's like oh this is like extremely traditionally british and there's a reason why it's so popular and even as a vegetarian it's fucking amazing like I don't know. The experience and the way it looks, the whole thing is, like, is... I like going somewhere where, like, here's a green onion. We put some olive oil and salt on it. And you just eat it raw like a rabbit. And then, like, that's the shit that gets me a little on Chubb. Versus, like, another fucking pate. Yeah. No, I mean, look, food is bad, TV is bad, but you know what we do have, Jason? Thank God. Podcasting. You know what I mean? What would we do? I mean, that's the only medium that matters. Thank God. Well, I'm glad you went. It was fun. I understand what you mean, though, about traveling without a purpose. Because even on tour, it was like, I've been to all those cities before, but knowing, like, all right, we've got a three-hour window here where we can do X, Y, Z, and then we've got to go here and here. It is nice to have some guardrails. Yeah. Beyond, like, here's a hundred things we could do today. Like, let's just pick. Yeah, the guardrails are good, and, you know, it's, you know, hey, paint this picture. Paint whatever you want. You don't know what to do, but, hey, paint a picture of a tree. You're going to be fine. You know what a tree looks like. And when you're out there and just thrown into the world and you can do everything, you try to do everything, and you end up.

doing everything but it's just like but we do live in this weird world now where people hear that you're going somewhere and they send you like an insane google map with fucking like geo tags and locations of everything they've ever done there and i'm just like honestly if i don't know about it from my living my life and clicking around a little bit i probably don't need to know about it i probably don't care like i there's no way that Unless you're going to a village in Nice, it's a different thing. But a major city, if you're online and you are aware of what's going on, you can spend 15 minutes and find the things that you need to do. Absolutely. That's just the reality. You might like the stuff on your list the most, but I trust my sleuthing. I trust my TripAdvisor truffle pig nose. I can look at 13 places on TripAdvisor and be like, This one might be the best or the highest rate or the Michelin, but this is the one I'm going to like the most because it's my mouth at the end of the day. Pause. I was having some body issues, not dysmorphia. I suffer from that all the time. Well, that's every day. But in Paris, after doing berries and walking around so much, I was having an insane, both of my heels felt bruised, and it just hurt to walk. What shoes were you wearing? I was wearing, well, I was wearing my Newtons on the treadmill, but then I was wearing my JM Westons to walk around. Penny loafers, sockless? Of course. I've never felt pain like that, and I would go run. I would go on the treadmill the next day, and it would hurt, but it would be like fine. And then in the afternoon, I'd be like, am I limping right now? Because both, and they were like red. They were red. That's weird. Very weird. A bruised heel. And then it went away. Then for the rest of the time, I wore a more comfortable shoe to walk around. How are the heels now? That's what I was going to say. I wanted to let you know I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me. If you bought a card, you can keep it. Were you able to remedy the situation holistically? Of course. You just kind of walk on the tippies? I didn't get any injections or anything. You know what it was, honestly, I think? I take Advil.

muscle and back pain relief every day, and I wasn't taking any. How many? Four. How many? Four. Okay. Four. Per hour? Oh, four in the morning, four at night. Okay. Yeah. But look, if my liver's going to go, it's going to go. Right. No, I agree. Like, whatever. But that's also, that's your Tretox. It's my Tretox, and look what it did. It made my heels red and painful. I know, but this is... Do you think that was toxins leaving my body through my heels? Remember when the tree toxins... Our lives, we're privileged and lucky enough to create our everyday home life to be exactly what we want because we're just bitches like that. And then when we go on holiday, that gets disrupted. And then you have to sort of atone for the sins. You have to have a Lent-like situation. You have to give up your things in order to then... Ed, you know, I don't want to use the E word, but you're edging. So you're saying that you're coming back. You're saying that your Tretox, which, first of all, you broke last night, but we don't need to get into that. I did not get high. Well, you tried, though, and that's the worst part. You think if I try to get high on muscle and back pain? That'd be like me being a heroin addict, and I just find a needle on the ground and lick it. It ain't really. Okay, that's fair. It ain't really relapsing. But I see what you mean, and maybe that is true, and thank God my heels. It felt good enough for that twisted run I did this morning. Because if you're taking eight Aleves back and what's it? Muscle and back. Neck and back. Muscle and back. Don't do that. If you're taking eight neck and back Aleves every day, obviously your tolerance is going to be affected. You're going to become accustomed to it. You might not even be doing anything. It's maybe just like a psychosomatic sugar pill type of situation. dry cold turkey two weeks and then you come back first day out the feds oh i'm gonna be when you're back in weho and you pop maybe six just to kind of just to kind of tickle the tickle the taint a little bit you know what i also brother your girl's gonna come home the bathtub water's gonna be overflowing oh damn to chris oh no i found a bottle

Call my mom. I found a bottle of pills next to the... I hope he's okay. Oh, no, what was it? Aleve muscling back. But, you know, when I finally get back home and I spark up my exotics, you know how good that's going to be? Because before, I was getting too... I wasn't getting too high, but my edible tolerance was increasing. When you get home and you get the Wiz Khalifa pre-rolls, I can't even imagine what you're going to do. You're going to be floating through Glendale. Spaceships in Glendale. But every little thing, every little thing. Your bed feels so amazing. We're a shower at home. That's something I want to talk about that we need to discuss. I don't know. The smoothies. Bro, the Barry smoothies in Europe, in Milan and Paris, the Barry smoothies are, it's literally like water and Ovaltine powder. There's no heft. There's no weight. There's no thickness to the smoothie. It's literally water and powder. And I don't understand because I think it boils down to the Europeans' aversion to ice. They hate ice. When the ice hits the Vitamix, it becomes an aerated situation, not unlike the soft self. They hate ice here, which I've known. But the smoothies in Milan and Paris, I only had to have them a couple times in Paris. Thank God for our friends at Wild and the Moon for providing some healthy options. But it was a... So the smoothies are merely just like we don't want to eat smoothies here in Europe. That's like an American bullshit thing. We can make money on it. But we're going to try to capitalize on it. We're going to try to give you what you want. We can get nine euros for the chocolate peanut butter with the vegan protein. But it's awful is what you're saying. Awful. Awful. Inedible, but I would have it because I was so in need of protein. Well, what I wonder is, is that the case or are European people? Drinking the smoothies in America and being like, this is garbage. I hate this Wolverine from Sun Life Alganics. They talk about Hailey Bieber, the smoothie girls. Yeah, they go to Els Bar. And they're like, these smoothies are way too thick. Who wants to eat this thick smoothie? I'm going to create...

the best smoothie and it's going to be watery and warm. What if that's what they prefer and it's better that way? They would somehow put fish in it or something, but I don't know. They're like, this smoothie, we put a little, it's like half a baguette is in there. I'm like, why are you putting bread in this smoothie? We just grind it up. We don't like ice, but we need something to give it kind of a thickening agent. It's just chocolate. It's honestly pure chocolate bars. It's so bad they shouldn't be allowed to charge for it. But I also noticed they're much less popular. You know, you get out of a Barry's class in New York, there's 15 smoothies waiting. Line them up, brother. There's three or four fucking. Oh, I mean, also, just while we're on the Barry's Paris topic, I did see something that went crazy on Twitter. I saw a woman. Do the entire class and, of course, a beautiful matching set. I didn't catch the brand. But then she had a thin white cardigan that she wore off the shoulder for the entire workout. She was running on the treadmill in a cardigan. Okay, so she had the aloe set and then the Agnes B over the shoulder. I wish it was Agnes B. It was probably more Zara B. Okay. But she was also, like, ripped and, like, pretty hot. So I think everybody was just like, okay, I'm going to let this rock. See, that's the kind of shit that we don't get in America. I think she was American. Oh, my God. But that's the problem. American chicks come to Europe and think they've got to really be dressed in. It's true. You see them walking around, and you're like, you're wearing five-inch heels. It's 90 degrees outside of the full face of makeup. You ain't fooling anybody. You're from Oklahoma. I am grateful for being a fella out here because when we went and got coffee in the Village Square Piazza before this, every other guy is wearing just a guest t-shirt tucked into Massimo jeans and flip-flops. They love the knee-length shorts with a little roll right at the knee. Knee-length denim short at the roll. I had my eye on this. The other thing I saw that was incredible is we were in Paris at just a cafe and there was a fucking white chick.

who ordered, you know, an Aperol Spritz, and she's having her misoie salad, and then she's just, like, on the phone the whole time, and then she's like, hold on, hold on, and she hands the phone. She's like, I'm trying to book a hydrofacial, and I don't speak French. Can you just help me to a French person next to her? And I checked the phone, and the iPhone Pro Max 12 has the San Vicente bungalow sticker on the back. No. And I'm like, damn, this is what people think we are, and this is what we are. She kept it on? Golly. It was amazing. It was amazing. To ask a friend. French people are mean. They don't want to. The woman did it because I think she was just like, I want this bitch away from the music. If I do this, you'll stop? Yeah, if you do this, I'll stop. Yeah, if you're going to keep the San Vicente bungalow sticker on the phone, it has to be in its original placement. Covering the camera? Great idea. It has to be covering the camera or else it ain't really real. I don't know if there's any other hot, dumb chick signifier like that sticker. Besides maybe like a wild... I know seven girls personally right now listening to this. Kind of like begrudgingly peeling it off the back of their phone right now. If you're younger, maybe you have a wildflower case. You know what I mean? Speaking of cases, you have a phone case now, and that's crazy to me. I always have a peel case, but the last one got so fucked up. I mean, look how nice that is, though. Like, it's barely there. It's barely there. It's barely there. No, it is barely there, but it kind of goes against your philosophy, right? It does go against my philosophy, but also, like, having a beat-up phone is only cool for chicks. Interesting. Hot chick beat-up phone? Cool. Would you consider my phone to be beat up? I got a couple dings on the top, but otherwise... No, this looks pretty good. I mean, I don't love having... Scale of 1 to 10, how dinged up is she? I mean... We got a number of 7.8? 7.8? Dinged up 1 to 10, 7. You got a lot more dinging to do. All right, that's good.

I got a new phone before we left because my shit was so cooked. But also, I dropped the old one no case running a few times. And it really hits the ground hard. And I got to protect against that. Okay. That's not very awesome sauce. I'm never going to get a case. Congratulations. It's the only thing that makes me feel like I have money. Oh, well. I have a lot of things that make me feel like I have money even though I don't. Could people look at it and it's like the meme of like you don't have a phone on your case. What are you, a millionaire? Or a case on your phone. Do you think that maybe they don't think you're a millionaire because it's purple? Or do you think that makes you look more like a millionaire? Yeah, it makes me look like more of a millionaire. Because my phone is purple, it makes me look like I have a million dollars somewhere in an account that I forgot about. Because I live so carefree. Yeah, you're a real carefree guy. I don't really care. When I was traveling a lot, a good airport trend I noticed, which is maybe you can explain it to me because of your core strength, but backpack on the front. I've been seeing it a lot. That's absolute Euro summer vibe. It's so you don't get raw. Oh, that's it. Well, it's that, and it's also like you're aware of your spatial. You have more spatial awareness when it's on the front than when it's on the back because you just hit people in the face and shit, or somebody can unzip it. So it's double, both of those things. Okay, that's a good explanation, and I don't like that that makes so much sense, and I never thought of that. Well, Jason, that's why we do this podcast is because we help each other. I'm learning. Well, check that one off the list. Adios. One good thing that happened on the airplane over, we had a red eye left at like 6 p.m., landed at noon, LDN, direct. I was an economy delight. Not great. Not delightful? But obviously I visited a local drug dealer before I left and secured some moon rocks.

for a friend of the show, for a previous guest, who will go unnamed. One that I was surprised to hear was put in the Moon Rocks order, but also impressed. And we've talked a lot about drug dealing and drug dealer menus on the show, and this was the first time I had seen, you know, like, let me get $100 worth of Moon Rocks, you know, like a gram of Moon Rocks or whatever. And it's in the little drug baggie, and it's some little kind of like crunchy crystals or whatever. It's called a jewelry bag, but sure. A little jewelry bag full of kind of brown, yellowy, Maldon crystals that I might sprinkle on top of my terribly scrambled eggs here in Italy. They don't understand what the meaning of scramble is. That scramble looks more like cat food. It did look like cat food. But he handed me the jewelry bag. The moon rocks was one rock. It looked like it was a purple. It was like a Real Housewives engagement ring crystal, just one fat moon rock, which seems kind of – I mean, like when you get the one – like when you would get cocaine back in the day or – The rock. And you get the one rock, that's a sign of high quality, right? High quality, yeah. But then once you have that rock, how do you break it down? Do you just like hit it with a – I actually explained this to someone recently, and they were – I don't know if disturbed maybe, but they were a little taken aback by the detail that I went into. But what you do... Do tell. You put the rock on the table. You put a bill, preferably 100 of course, on top of that rock. Then you take your American Express Platinum card and you beat it down a little bit and then you just rub vigorously until it forms a... powdered substance some will stick to the bill you fold the bill up you scrape it all off and you're able to cut lines easily from that from that powder okay that makes sense but i mean i don't know why we have to use money for that and not just

Maybe some cling film or some parchment paper? I don't know if you've ever done drugs before, Jason, but there's a lot of money involved in cocaine specifically. Maybe not little moon rocks, but... In your world, yeah. With cocaine, you would use a bill to snort it, so it's like, I already have this. Well, that's very front of house of you. As a back of house shawty, I'm pulling out one of my knives, maybe a paring knife, so I can get more control, and really just... Because I'm thinking about a wasted product, you know? If you... Well, that's the problem. If I'm breaking down the Toro, And Master is watching behind me, even if it's 1% of product that's being left on the skin. I see what you're saying. There probably is a better method, and I'm sure there's been advancements in this technology since my time in the stall. Hit it in the Vitamix or the spice grinder. I mean, or mortar and pestle. I'm sure you have one. There we go. That's what I was looking for. But the moon rock, it's not a powder form. It's literally just like. Yeah. It just looks like a sapphire or an emerald. I don't really understand. How do you ingest it? You just eat it. You just eat it. You don't sprinkle it on something? You can do it. Can you smoke it? That's a good question. Get out of the tinfoil. Let's give it a test. I'm sure you can get a little something going. Every time I've had it, it's either just like you dip the pinky in like a fun dip. Okay, so like a molly style. You do a molly style or sprinkle a little bit in your vodka soda or whatever. But I was looking at this like solid. I mean, it looked like a piece of glass. And I'm like, that seems like more of a hassle than a benefit. I don't know what we're going to do here. Yeah, but I mean, look, man. When there's a will, there's a way. So what did you... If you didn't get moon rocks, you just got some Zanzibarbarians? I got ten bars. You got some ladders. I got some ladders. And he was like, hey, just to let you know, they're broken up into four segments. So don't take a whole one. It's meant to be like... You're like, bitch, am I 12 years old? I've taken a Xanax before. This motherfucker tried to mansplain Xanax bars to you? He tried to Xansplain me.

Do not Zansplain. But the whole time, I mean, I was just happy to be getting high quality. How much are bars on the street? Ten. Damn, that's it? Okay, they've leveled out. I thought there was a point where they were 12. Yeah, these were ten. But I kind of politely to myself was like, I've taken Xanax before, but thank you. That's kind of you to give me that warning. But I'm also thinking like, so. No warning on this $100 moon rock here. I don't know about that. This thing right here that you're going to eat and fall asleep on a plane. Suck on that thing like a ring pop until it kind of just dissolves. You be good. The Xanax, you've got to be careful with that. Be careful with that one. That's prescription. That's kind of government mandated. You've got to be careful. The Sackler, I don't know. I mean, I guess I get it because if you do enough Xanax, you might go to sleep and that's it. But with the moon rocks, all you're going to do is just find like a melon baller and scoop your eyeballs out before you fall out of a giant tree or something. Yeah, I guess both. Yeah, it's more fun that way. But Xanax feels like there's more of a death opportunity. That's so funny to be like, just so you know. I would have been like. Bitch, I will take my business elsewhere. I think maybe he had been stung by that bee before. I had a couple great clients. We've lost some clients to the Zans, so I just want to make sure that you stick around. So I was so high on Xanax that I watched FX's Dave on the flight. I never thought I would see the day, and I'm both elated and disappointed in you. I know. But don't tell me that you – because, see, this is the problem when you're high on drugs. It might make you like something that you shouldn't like. Do you think that that happened in this case? The level of discerning taste is affected by it. That's the best thing that happened to me by not doing drugs anymore. I hate everything. I have no – there's no – there's nothing that can – I used to be so high I liked people. Yeah, now there's nothing I can do.

I can't escape my own problem myself. It was kind of a good and a bad. You know when, I guess maybe it's been a while for you, but if you're maybe at the doctor or the dentist and they put the laughing gas on you or they give you the little IV drip of morphine or Dilaudin if you're a lucky duck and they're kind of like saying little things to you. So Macklemore came on screen in episode four. That was you? Yeah, I felt like when you jangle keys in front of a baby. That was sort of like when Macklemore came on screen. That part was actually funny. I mean, I understand why people like Dave. I won't say that I'm Dave Pilled. I won't say that I'm a fan fan. But I think the stuff that we hate the most... is is because we are so similar to them of course and there's a part of ourselves that we see in them that we don't like so we subconsciously push it away so in a lot of ways dave is is me and me is dave and i get it him slim with a tilted rim what's my name fool oh i wasn't expecting a west coast reference from you i don't like it but i'm with a west coast i'm with a west coast king So I was sort of, I mean, because I took so much Xanax on this flight, I mean, I could have been, they could have been like watching, like here's like a video where like Johnson and Johnson like pours acid on like a baby puppy's eyeballs. You would have found some humor in that. And I'd be like, another screwdriver, sweetheart, a little more of these pretzels while you're out, you know. So it was a little bit of that going on. So I watched two episodes and, like, kind of fell asleep afterwards. But I see potential. I see potential there. I might start watching it. I don't know. I mean, I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. I think that I've talked too much shit on Lil Dicky. But I like that he's aware of himself and he's able – he does a good job about making fun of himself. I want to reward him for being so self-aware because –

that has made him famous and that is, should be rewarded in some ways. Uh, but I just don't, again, it's just like anything else. Don't care. I don't care enough to watch. I've watched it too. I watched a couple episodes in a similar situation. I was like, Oh yeah. Okay. This is fine. Like, sure. Yeah, that's fine. Um, so, but because I'm on a tree talks and because I am kind of white knuckling it through life where green knuckling is much better. I have been having, like, the best part and the worst part about marijuana is you get a great night's sleep. So I don't really smoke weed. I haven't slept in five years. I don't smoke weed during the daytime unless it's a very rare occasion, you know, once or twice a year if I'm at a day party or something like that. And, you know, Zsa Zsa, the flirt, passes me a hog leg. I won't say no. I'll take a small puff. I'm glad that you were out of town for the game's new album release party. What's the name of his album? It has a funny name. Bro, there's one song on the game album that absolutely bangs. It is so good. You listen to the new game? That's interesting. 2 Chainz, the game, absolutely smacks. It has a funny name. What the fuck is it? Yeah, it does have a funny name. Drillmatic. Something versus something. There's a single that came out that's six minutes long that's him teaching somebody else, and I heard it on the Joe Budden podcast, actually. I was like, what is this? And I was like, oh, this is extremely good. Hopefully the game's back. I mean, I think he's back. He attacks Eminem for ten minutes. That's my guy. Say less, Queen. You shit on Eminem? I'll buy it on iTunes. I listened to a new Eminem song last week on the freeway, and I was like, this is... It's so, so bad. It's crazy. It's gone into a new territory of bad. You know his hot daughter has a podcast. Hot is a relative term. But yeah, she has a podcast. Well, she doesn't have a podcast. She has a neon sign behind her. She talks to camera with a neon sign behind her? That's a podcast? Yeah, there's two different... Nowadays, all these fucking losers have ruined podcasting because they're like, oh, you have a podcast? I'll watch it.

No. What if we got a how long on neon? That's sick. A pink handwritten neon where it normally would say... I mean, I don't know. I mean, obviously it just says the name of the show, but... But no, I think that if we got one, it would have to be... All who wander are not lost type of phrase. They charge by the letter, so maybe not so wordy. Neons used to be like... because I bought one before from the famous place in Tribeca, and it's like a whole thing. Nowadays, you go online, it's like $30 for a neon, because they're like LED or some fake shit. So it could be worth it just for the prank. Yeah, we should get a howling on neon. That would be good. I don't know why I was talking about that, though. I'm coming back. Oh, the cannabis part. So I have... I smoke weed every night before I go to bed. That's every day. And it helps me sleep and not only fall asleep, but more importantly, sustain sleep. I like how you sound like an infomercial. More importantly, I stay asleep. Yeah, I'm able to fall asleep, but to stay asleep for my seven, eight hours. Well, there's so much going on in that fucking giant head of yours. I can't imagine you being able to kind of turn off. Yeah, but... So if you smoke weed every day, you don't really dream, you know? Uh-oh. I'm seeing where this is going. So when you stop smoking weed, this comes back to my green knuckling and white knuckling. When you stop smoking weed, not only is it kind of hard for you to fall asleep, it's hard for you to stay asleep, and then years of dreams come rushing at you. Uh-oh. On some Fleetwood Mac shit. Uh-huh. and I've been having bizarre dreams. They start off as nightmares, and then they turn into kind of interesting dreams, but it's sort of part of this two-week journey where every day the style of dream changes. Do you bring a moleskin to kind of jot this stuff down?

I did not. I've got it all up top. I try to talk to my life partner about it, and she's like, okay. I mean, talking to anyone about your dreams, nobody gives a fuck, obviously. Yeah, you'd think that, wouldn't you? And then you'd bring it up on this podcast. That's an interesting... I'm not going to describe my dreams. I'm just describing the concept of what's happening. So, like the many stages of discovering dreams again. And there's a lot of people who talk about, you know, like a dream or a nightmare is your body or your brain. If you've repressed things, thoughts, emotions, memories, or whatever. Are you gay in these dreams? I'm not gay, but what happens in my dreams is sort of taking a page out of your book. Also, uh-oh. Anger and violence happens in my dreams. I'm not violent, just angry. Okay. So you're saying that you're whipping guys' asses in the pit? I'm saying that I'm being put... Typically for me, a nightmare is like... Like, I don't get scary, scared of my dreams, because, like, mostly I sort of know I'm dreaming in them, and I'm just, like, annoyed that I'm stuck in them. So it's, like, a little lucid. It's, like, 10% lucid, 90% nightmare. So I'm never, like, truly terrified by my dreams. I'm not having, like, Saw. You're not waking up in a cold sweat after the Reaper got to you. Yeah, I'm annoyed, not frightened. Sure. Welcome to my life. So I'm in these dreams, and instead of being killed by monsters or whatever, I'm just put in these frustrating situations. And people will be bugging me, and I'll get really angry, and I'll start sweating, and I'll be in distress, and then they all end in me having to just kill them or fight them. This is worrisome for me, personally. But I think it's good because all of this... All the anger that we repress, whatever turns into fear, which turns into whatever. So all that anger inside of me is coming out in my dreams. And I think that's, I mean, I guess it's healthy. It's going to come out at some point. So you're really using this vacation as more of a...

It's a tree toxin every sense of the word. Yeah, this is really interesting because I can't relate, but I'm glad that you're using this time wisely. I mean, it's pure hell, but it's one of those things that kind of has to be done. Yeah, it's like going to Charles de Gaulle on a Friday afternoon. It's one of those things that's got to be done. Cleaning out the rain gutters. Yeah, of course. Taxes, whatever it is. Certain things, you just got to be like, well, this is going to suck fucking dick, but I'm going to do it, and I'll be a better person for it, hopefully. Hopefully. We'll see. We'll see. You said to remind you about a Tim Hortons story. Is that true? Oh, shit. Yeah. Everyone in this has to go unnamed, but we were with a friend in Paris, and he was like, oh, bro, I've got to tell you this story. It's so sick. This woman I know was fighting with her boyfriend, and she went to the bathroom, and he opened her phone, and he saw an Uber at 2.30 in the morning to go to Tim Hortons, and he's not from Canada. And she came out of the bathroom, and he was like, who the fuck is Tim Horton? Why are you going to his house at 2.30? Which I just think is so – it's obviously funny, but it's also like – I mean, obviously it's different for me because I'm basically an honorary Canadian. But, like, Tim Horton's is big. It's not like it's some, like, local donut shop. Justin Bieber has a collab. Yeah, Justin Bieber has a collab. So this guy was literally screaming his girlfriend in the middle of the night because she went to get a donut. I also like the idea of Uber. Like when you Uber to someone's house, it shows the name of the person who lives there. Like when I go to your house, it's just an address and a street name. Chris Black. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't just say Chris Black. It doesn't say my... Oh, hell no. Oh, you're not going to Chris's house. It was so funny. It really made me chuckle. That was the highlight of Paris. The highlight of London for me was going to Chiltern Firehouse.

Shout out to our man Armand. That's a fun thing to say. The goat. Which is sort of like the Soho house of Soho. No, no, no. It's more of the Chateau Marmont or the Bowery, I would say. Okay, yeah, yeah. The Chateau Marmont or the bungalows. Yeah, yeah. Where it's like a place that is constructed. It's a place that is constructed only for rich people to be like a playground. That's right. Normal people are not allowed there. Only rich people are allowed there who aren't able to create their own funds. And thank God Armand's there to get you in. Because you're not from Saudi Arabia, you're not rich, and you're not British. And speaking of rich Saudi Arabians, we went to the smoking section where you enter in through the restroom, through the loo. And even though it's 2022, the... Men's room door that goes into the secret smoking area says women and wine. And then the woman's room says cigarettes and men, which is a little, I mean, it's fine. You think that's a little problematic? I'd like to see something, you know, cigarettes and them instead. This is something we should talk to Andre about. Yeah, A.B. Let's get balls on the horn. Let's get A.B. Not Antonio Brown. I wouldn't mind a third door. For the rest of us, AB. So we get down, and I didn't know about this, and Carolyn discovered it organically because she was just in the loo, and then she ran into a good-looking couple from whatever, Essex, whatever. This is my brother, and this is Tilly and Winston, or whatever it is. And they're like, oh, I love your hair, I love your shoes, I'm not, you know, like that. And she's like, we're just going around to have a cigarette. And she's like, okay. And then she's like, do you want to come with? And she's like, We're in a bathroom. And she's like, no, no, no. And she opens the door, and she was like, oh, this is cool. I feel amazing and special. And we go down in there, and there's a table at the end of maybe Saudi, maybe Iranian. I'm not sure. But they were Persian, and they were obviously rich, and they were having the worst conversation in the world, obviously. Not because of their nationality, but because of their wealth and stuff.

My Persian listeners know I'm an ally. And they were basically one, there was three girls. One of them was sort of consoling the other girl because she had made the, she kind of let it all out on the table and made like a brave admittance of something that she, she owns a horse, but she only has one. She said that out loud? She said she only had one horse. And her other friends were, her homegirls were there by her side. They didn't leave her. And then the next table over, this fucking, like, Turkish artist guy wearing, like, rainbow Valentino shoes with, like, diamond studs on them or something like that. He was an ally, and he stepped up, and he said, hey, I only have one horse, too. It's okay. This is okay. This is, I love to see this. This is just, this is human. This is humans helping other humans. This is called compassion. This is called empathy. And this is what we need more of in this sick, sad world. And you know where you can find it? Right through the bathroom in the back at Cheltenham Firehouse, where the room started 1,000 a night. Euros, pounds. Can you imagine the look? I mean, like both of us were frozen. Yeah, that's insane. Both of us were froze. I mean, because you can't laugh at that because it's like a silent room with like two people talking and we had to act like this was all normal. And the whole time I'm like pulling my phone out and writing this on my notes app like, don't forget. Don't forget. Do not forget. Do not forget. That's actually really good, man. That's really good. I'm glad you enjoyed your time at the firehouse. Did you get some fries or anything? No, I just had martinis after martinis. We had some berries. Some berries and cream, just like at Wimby. Mate. I think there are little bits of white chocolate in there. Oh. That's a nice bonus. It was nice. There was a DJ there playing some wedding music for like 11 people who have like $4 billion each and no friends. There's like a guy who walked in who had like a full blonde perm and had like YouTube makeup tutorial, like full beat on. I guess in London it's full whack.

and just like shows up alone and just like i'm here everybody and everyone has to like pretend that they're excited and they like kiss each other on the cheek and say you know like oh i bought this new bag today and they're like that's so cool i have this new shirt today i went to the store and went shopping all by myself and then a guy a dj guy with like a perm who like fucks everyone there plays like i want to dance with somebody by whitney houston And then three fucking twinks and queens do a fake dance. And they're like, I like dance moves. How bad? Now, when you're in a situation like that, you're obviously loving it. You know, you're taking it all in. I'm loving it. But, I mean, how bad do you want to DJ at Shelter and Firehouse after that experience? I think zero because the taste level, like, everyone is wearing, like, very expensive clothes. And, like, fashion-wise, they seem to be. pretty well cultured. Like, they knew about shit. But they're not going to know your Bicep remix. But, yeah, but... They're not going to know the Rokta Khan Like a Prayer re-edit. Exactly. Shout out to Rokta. So, like, the DJ was, I mean, nice guy. You know, this sex machine guy who clearly has fucked everyone there. Sex machine? This guy's sex machine. And he's playing all on vinyl, and he knew, he kind of, we were looking at each other. He knew that you knew? Every time you'd mix a new song, he'd look at me because my arms were kind of crossed. And he'd be like, it's good. It's good. Like if I was DJing and Tom York is in the room, every time I mix a song, I look over. I see. So you're Tom York in this situation. That's right. Something like that. That's how bad this guy was. No, he wasn't bad. He was doing the job he had to do. But he started out playing kind of like cool, tasteful, like disco records on vinyl. I'm like, oh, sick. This guy's just playing like cool disco on vinyl. and then i realized that that was happening because i was the only person in the room because i got there at like 10 o'clock and like no one was there in the room so then like around 1 30 2 2 a.m then everyone shows up for the last 45 minutes and then he starts playing wedding music and then people like fake dance

It's such a bizarre thing. It is a bizarre thing. It's truly like a jail vibe. Well, I mean, that's the problem with hotel scenes is that it's like – Anyway, shout out to children. Thanks for your hospitality. I mean, it's a great place, but that's the problem with all – it's like it's a little bit of everybody's – I mean, not actually everybody's welcome because it's obviously – there's a door person and the price is exorbitant. But the – The reality is it's got to sort of be like general vibes on like a Wednesday. I'm sure on a Friday or Saturday it can be a little more like dialed in. Like this is our DJ. And I've actually seen Rory Phillips DJ there. Yeah, I missed him. And I was able to link with Rory while I was there. He walked us around. I met a fan while we were walking down the street to Mangal 2. Had a great steak. I know you've been eating a lot of steak. I watched Jason. We went to a restaurant first night here in. And it was beautiful, Russ. It was really nice. Couldn't get that bone out of my mouth. And Jason was kind of... The way he was eating the bone, I thought he had kind of turned into... A dog. Like that Snoop Dogg video where you morph into the dog. A second West Coast reference. I anamorphosized. It was disturbing, but also he was using utensils, not just his mouth, so he was being respectful of his other guests. Kind of like how you would use a knife to slice off some Parma ham off of a leg of prosciutto or something like that. I was doing that with fat. Because everyone knows the best meat is right closest to the bone. That's right. So you were basically gnawing on gristle. Mm-hmm. Good gristle. But at Mangal, too, they had, which is a great Middle Eastern restaurant where everyone that works there is white, and they had this retired dairy cow steak, which they just take a 10-year-old cow that they use for milking, and then they kill it. But the meat is more mature. It's got more flavor and personality, and the fat is yellowy and stuff. I'm also getting more mature as I age. That's so interesting. My fat's been yellowing as the years took on, I'll say it. You do look a little jaundry here on the... And Rory Phillips, shout out, we were walking from Cadet to Mangal 2, as one does, a stroll through the lane, and he made sure to go by One Street so I could see there's a housing district called Gay House. And there was a building that had been there for 700 years, and in the tile writing it just says Gay House. And he's like, oh...

I want to show you right down the street with my favorite genre of music. And I was like, oh, same, bro. And then underneath it, somebody had spray painted the word gay, just to be sure. So you couldn't miss it, kind of. Got it all laid out there on the tiles. And then Dan, I showed it to Dan, Decatur Dan, and he showed me, oh, that reminds me of another photo. It's like somebody had graffitied like, you know, highest name or like top villain or like I'm the highest name on the wall or something like that. And then somebody had wrote. Just wrote spray-painted Dave above that. Good stuff. But anyway, shout-outs to all of our international bros, everyone in London, all the restaurants that serve me, lots of bits and bobs, odds and sobs, all the beans, all the toast. Thank you to Takara and Wild and the Moon for taking care of me. That's all I really wanted. That's all I really wanted. And thank you guys for enjoying this pod. While we're on vacation, we had to drop a little something secret for you. Yeah, we still have another week of vacation, but it would be unfair and I would say rude when we're together to not kind of drop this jewel. But we have a lot of great pods coming up. Because, you know, Jason might be on vacation, but... Chris ain't on vacation. The booking department is alive and well, and we are rejigging the schedule on a daily basis to make fall 2022 the best season of podcasting that you've ever heard. The all-new fall 22 season? The all-new fall 22 season. The Thursday 8 p.m. time slot? I don't know, buddy. Every podcast of how long gone is must-see TV 8 p.m. Thursday time slot. You don't fucking forget it. Chris has been working. I have been working on myself. Which will then hopefully in turn create some great content. That's great. That's what we do here. But, yeah, we will be back full tilt in about another week. Full whack. And pray for all of our travels to be safe and successful. Pray for a first plus update. Yeah, thank you to Delta One for having this international certificate. And, yeah, we'll see you soon. Arrivederci. Ciao, ciao.